And this is what they’re afraid of?

The TUV just had their annual conference, and Chairman Jim Allister gave them his leader’s speech. It is simply amazing that the DUP are afraid of this man and his little personal party. He’s a nutcase, and his speech is worthy of, at best, a school debating society. If this level of puerile name-calling counts as a serious threat to the DUP, then either they have a low opinion of their own supporters, or they are equally puerile.

Let’s look at some of the sillier bits of Allister’s speech:

“Welcome to East Belfast where every Tom, Dick and Sammy must have their vehicle taxed and MOT displayed”.

Puerile, but perhaps his supporters thought that it was political wisdom.

“Which Peter Robinson should we believe? Hyde Robinson, Jackyl Robinson, or Heath Robinson? For what a Heath Robinson concoction we have at Stormont.”

Firstly, it is Jekyll, not Jackyl. And ‘Heath Robinson’? Who under the age of 50 remembers that cartoon?

“ … what a jackpot for the Provos to be told after decades of seeking to bomb NI out of existence and butchering thousands of its best and bravest citizens … “

Well, perhaps it is not a disbarring offence to deliberately tell lies, and should one really expect honesty from a lawyer-politician? The IRA did not kill ‘thousands’ of people. And Allister’s fellow-travellers in the loyalist murder gangs did quite a bit of killing, but are strangely absent from his criticism.

And all the schoolboy name-calling: “Marty the Terrorist”, “Catrina Ruin”, “sidekicks Junior and Poots”, and so on. The whole speech is a childish attempt to annoy the DUP and Sinn Fein (though he is wasting his breath with respect to the latter). If his whole political philosophy was represented by that speech, then it could have been summed up in far fewer words: “Croppies lie down”, and “No fenians here”.

Allister provides us all with a valuable reminder of why unionism needs to be defeated, and why their Project Ulster was such a nasty project which made Northern Ireland an unpleasant place. The final defeat of the unionist project is an essential precondition for peace, prosperity, equality and parity of esteem. As long as attitudes like Allister’s receive serious political support, Northern Ireland will be stuck in the current tense stand-off. This blog will celebrate his ignominious defeat next June – if he drags down the DUP as well, then at least he will have been of some service.